What do you look for in a partner

SMALL ego and big Breasts

JohnNZ wrote:

Summerbreeze wrote:

JohnNZ wrote:

Summerbreeze wrote:

JohnNZ wrote: I'm glad that you enjoyed it!

Ah, the John Gottman! His and his wife's research has been quoted all over! besides the Gottmans "The Four Horsemen" of relationship which predict high certainty of ending of the relationship. Have you heard of the "Gottman ratio" which says that for a healthy relationship to thrive, there should be a ratio of five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. And there cannot be only(or too much like 13 and above) positive interaction either! The relationship gets "boring".

It is interesting to learn that no two people can be too far part. I think it really is about if you and your partner are both "consciousness". If both of you are kind and compassionate towards each other, knowing each other are always coming with a good intention but from different backgrounds. We just need a bit more listnening and understanding to each other, to see what the good intentions are and where they are from.

Thank you for sharing. I enjoyed the information. Using this format any relationship with two people following this format is going to be happy and healthy. I did not know about the Gottman ratio but it makes sense. When people are putting forth effort, we want our effort recognized and praise by the person we are trying to please is motivating. It is easier to make changes in ourselves for our partner if we feel our partner genuinely likes us.

When working with kids I don't conscientiously use a 5 to 1 ratio to help motivated and change behavior. I try to use positive praise all day for the behaviors I am seeking, so that when they do break a rule (hitting, biting, etc) they are more willing to hear my correction and will come back and say "did you see Miss. T" ( Lol they can't say my name) I didn't hit them. They want that approval, and I am happy to celebrate their efforts! It is a positive cycle.


Adults are harder, we have negative experiences, that cause us to be defensive when someone is trying to share how our actions impacted them.

Do you feel this podcast has given you tools to try a healthy and happy relationship?

Yeah definitely. There are many other podcasts discussed similar topics and I have listening them for a while now. They definitely helped me in my most recent relationship. Although I didn't do everything right but I was aware of those things I did right and things could use a bit more work. In comparision to previous previous relationsips, I didn't have a clue what I was doing, and thinking back now, I realised how emotionally and relationshiply immature I was.

One thing I do wanna say is that both person need to have some level of consciousness in order to turely think about what's in the podcast, reflect within ourselves and make improvement towards a better relationship. Using the 4 hoursmen for example, how many of us would actually catch oursleves stonewalling or criticising our partners in the moment when being displeased by them? And how many of us could being non defensive when being crticised? I have certainly made so many of those mistakes in my previous relationships. But in the last relationship, I was aware of them when I was making those mistakes and was able to stop and get out of those viscous cycle.

I have not had a relationship since my divorce, 5 years ago, so I have not had a chance to practice the relationship skills on a partner. But I think the information is applicable to any positive healthy relationship.

I do agree that I was also very emotionally immature I was. But we all are starting out. I think it is different for people that grew up in homes that practice healthy relationships/marriages this becomes the standard.
In your last relationship did you invite your partner to this podcast or share this new learn information with her?

I will definitely share this with the guy that I plan to have a relationship with.

I actually send the podcast to my teen son. He is not dating now. But because i think the information can be helpful in building friendships too.

Tested her a little with a short mended light video and immediately realized that only small small percentage of people are conscious enough to look for this kind of stuff. Just look at the people who responded this thread and how they responeded. lol I guess that why only a small percentage of couples are actually happily togather and last.

That sucks too bad she wasn't willing to grow it also let you know the type of person you were dealing with.

Yes, so funny I thought the same thing when I saw the comments! I was hoping this thread was going to lead to some deeper thinking, but it just vanished lol.
But it was a good effort. I am glad you shared the podcast it made an impact on me and I shared it with my best friend (she is married) and my son.

Do you have 13 minutes?

^Nah mate , we Asians . Like our instant noodles. Everything is under 2 mins 😇😇

Starvewolf wrote: ^Nah mate , we Asians . Like our instant noodles. Everything is under 2 mins 😇😇

This is how a lot of regrettable choices are made 😂

^ you just have to throw 🎲 and hope for god bring you a big number 😂😂

A German woman that's the human equivalent of a BMW M3... 4-door practicability but super sexy